SBL W10

This week is the first week that I have felt really stressed out at SBL. I was in two completely different year level classes both in which I didn't really enjoy. My teacher was absent that my focus child is in for an assessment so I have no information on that. All feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Highlights
I had some cool chats with some kids. Read some picture books to a few in the class, building confidence with that.
Felt like I opened up to the MT and had a good conversation with her.
Had duty with a young teacher and spoke to her about starting off as a new teacher and learning. She gave me some good things to look forward too as all I. See now is 3 years of training.possibly not passing. Just so over whelmed.

Challenges
New entrant class, the kids were just awall the whole day. Is was mentally and physically draining. It's 100% not my thing. The MT said that that's what she used to think too till she taught them. At this point I'm not interested in the just 5yr olds. The teacher wasn't really engaging and I felt like a burden more than a help. Didn't really have any guidance on what I was doing all day. Felt like crying when I left school.
Year 5's. Male teacher. Very tech with Apple TV. I enjoyed that aspect of his class. The children where fine. Had a couple in the class with learning difficulties, one girl with aspergers. Really interesting to learn about her learning. I would find that an issue to over come as a teacher, he handles her well. Again I felt awkward with the teacher. Just didn't really make a connection.
I feel I don't know enough to be a teacher right now. So much self doubt is running through my veins, I don't even know if I will pass the last assessment and we have 3 more on the go.

What I learnt
That someday days as a teacher a just right offs. What learning was done in the classes that I was in?
The seniors scare me so much, I'm hoping I am in a year 3 or 4 class for practicum.

This week at SBL I actually thought to myself what the heck am I up too? And I realised that if I ever have any student teachers come into my class I will be open and inviting and give them a bit of direction to what is going on. It's horrible not knowing what I can and can't do. It makes me feel so nervous and that's when I make mistakes. I know that being with kids is my passion and I will complete this degree. At this point I am just like what the heck is going on. Haha. I'll get through it. I always do.